Give bad feelings the boot

Retail therapy is a fine complement to dynamic cycle-therapy, I've found.

Before my Mallorcan adventure, I was contemplating intense psychotherapy and some pharmacological helpers to combat anxiety brought on by grief and years of unrelenting stress.

But now I'm cured! I figure with all the money I saved in psychiatrist fees, I could do this trip annually until 2050, but my husband doesn't agree.

Let's see how long the good feelings last. Souvenirs can be a great spirit booster. So here's a little tour of my keepsakes.

Footwear

Mallorca: the olives, the bread, the aioli, the footwear! Oh yeah, the cycling and bike stores are pretty awesome too.

First, THE BOOTS:

These babies are suede and high. I'm close to six-feet tall in these suckers.

Of course, I'll never be taller than my gorgeous 6'2" sister, who wears heels to boot. (I think these boots are nicer than hers, but don't tell her. Shhhhhh).

Next are the whore shoes:

Look how well I balance on one foot. I'm doing tree pose in this photo.

The fashionistas in the office assure me they're not whorish at all. Wear them with jeans, I've been told.

Casual sandals from the Camper outlet:

Try not to look too closely at the veins. These feet look like they belong to a transvestite weightlifter. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

These are my comfortable shoes, but I won't wear them on my Home Depot shopping trips with my friend Susan. Staff there always mistake us for a couple and I'm the man. Not that there's anything wrong with that either.

Cycling wear

Next up is my cycling fashion series. My only concern is that these up the flashy factor, which might raise people's expectations in the speed department. Oh well, I'm stylish, but slow. Sue me.

This is my favourite, favourite cycling acquisition:

Good thing this isn't a scratch-and-sniff picture. You'd fall over. Maggie doesn't mind though.

It has a nice fleecy inside and I'm utterly charmed by the pinkness of it. Great for chilly days. I've worn this five days in a row on commutes. Oli held his nose while he took this picture.

Flashy jacket:

The light, bright Ca'n Nadal jacket. This jacket is how I recognize fellow Mallorcan tripsters on cycling rides in the Gatineau Park.

I think everyone who does this trip buys one of these. It's wind resistant and it folds up teenie weenie. Perfect for your jersey pocket and you still have room to stuff in your portable IV kit and pint of EPO-infused blood for those really long rides.

Trip jersey:

Lori's arm warmers are a perfect match for this gorgeous jersey. She really should just hand 'em over.

These jerseys were given to all trip participants. I love the design and the fit. This is the best fitting jersey I've ever worn. But that could be because I buy cheap-ass jerseys as a rule and not expensive nice ones like this.

Trip fleece:

The fact that the fleece matches Jen's and my eyes is an added bonus. Photo by William Fu.

Great for post-ride hanging around or dress-down days at the office. I love how this fleece is fitted. Again, this jacket was given to trip participants. Love it.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness was wrong. WRONG.