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Sunday, March 28, 2010

Grandma always said...

During tough times, I often think of what my mom, Aunt Kathy and grandma would say. Neither Grandma nor Aunt Kathy is with us anymore, but if I need a refresher, I can always give my mom or cousin Steph a call.

Below are a few of these classic sayings with my more modern interpretation. "Kind" and "gracious" are two words that come to mind when I think of these women. How my mother ended up with such crass daughters is beyond me.

The italics are my explanation for each adage.

Turn your sails. Stop obsessing about that thing you're obsessing about because you're wearing a groove into your brain.

Anger is like an acid that dissolves the container it's in. Stop swimming in the shit. You're just making yourself sick.

Resentment is like eating rat poison and expecting someone else to die. See above.

Anyone can have a normal mother. My neuroses are preparing you for the real world.

Put a good face on it. Play along and try to avoid doing or saying something you'll have to apologize for later. There's nothing worse than having to apologize to an arsehole.

Don't take it out of your hide. Stop beating yourself up.

Let sleeping dogs lie. For god's sake, why are you waking a sleeping baby to feed her?!

Only offer one excuse for opting out of something. If you have more than one, even if they're legitimate, you look like a liar. You have the right to NOT explain yourself. The less said the better.

Better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Just do it and deal later.

If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Shut up, bitch.

And that's where I'll end this.

What about you? What are the family sayings that pop into your head?

10 comments:

  1. This calls for one of my favourite quotes:

    Arthur: You know, it's at times like this that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.
    Ford: Why, what did she tell you?
    Arthur: I don't know, I didn't listen.

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  2. i can't think of any at the moment, but i love have most of the ones that come down through most families is a slap upside the head to get you to stop navel gazing. i need some more of that!

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  3. Hmmm... my mom didn't have many pithy sayings. My favourite -- not from my mom, but from a friend -- is "Suck it up, princess."

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  4. Love the quote, Mike. And I agree with you, Julie. Most of them have to do with taking the focus of yourself.

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  5. "Suck it up, princess" could be substituted for most of these. I love that one.

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  6. Many of these I've heard and some I haven't. My favorite from your list is "Anyone can have a normal mother."

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  7. I love your interpretations - thanks for clarifying their true meaning! Nice to see Mom's quotes on there.....thanks suzicate for picking my Mom's famous quote. Now being a mother myself I totally get this one!

    Keep up the great work ankle-biter, I mean Patti!!!!!!!

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  8. Ah, thanks Steph. I enjoyed picking your brain for this one. I see many future collaborations.

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  9. Here's one from Uncle John sent via e-mail:

    Here's my latest life lesson metaphor.

    As the story goes, the newly elected Prime Minister (back in the 50's, I think) the Right Honourable John Diefenbaker was attending a luncheon in Montreal.

    The time came to distribute the various food items (in this case, patties of butter) and the waiters were making their way amongst the tables. The waiter serving the Prime Minister placed a single patty on his plate.

    Mr. Diefenbaker looked at his plate and said, "Excuse me, but I would like a second patty.", to which the waiter replied, ' I'm sorry sir, but we're only allowed to give one patty per person."

    The P.M. said, " Do you know who I am?"

    The waiter replied, "No, I don't."

    The P.M. said, "I am the Right Honourable John Diefenbaker, Prime Minister of Canada."

    The waiter replied, " Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that", but continued, "Do you know who I am?"

    The Prime Minister said, " No I don't."
    The waiter continued, "I'm the guy who gives out the butter."

    LUJ

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